Gantanic
by moyabomb
Summary: Gantanic: starring Miles Edgeworth! The PW characters are on a grand cruise ship during World War II. Miles is sick of his life until he meets a young artist. All goes smoothly until Nazis attack! If you don't like crack, don't do it. Drugs are bad. DONE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright and Titanic do not belong to me. They belong to Capcom and James Cameron.

"There she is," Apollo Justice said into the camera as he looked out the porthole of the tiny research submarine, "The once majestic RMS Gantanic. The most beautiful ship of its time before it sank the summer of 1941. Look as it looms up from the darkness, its ghastly skeleton peering up at our little ship. This is the first time in 84 years that this ship has seen any form of light, and we are the first crew to ever visit it in its gloomy grave."

His co-worker, Ema Skye, looked at him with disgust as she snacked on a bag of Snackoos. "Apollo, it's nice that we finally found it, but your narration upon discovering the ship really bites," she said between mouthfuls. Apollo turned away from the porthole to look at his colleague.

"And who was it that begged me to take her on this expedition?" he asked as he straightened the two spikes on his forehead. Ema flashed him a sheepish smile.

"Well, how often do I get to experience something like this? Finding deep-sea treasure, and on the Gantanic?! It's breath-taking!"

Ema and Apollo were about two-and-a-half miles under the surface of the Atlantic Ocean, alone except for one other crew member in their puny ship and another tiny ship with three more members of their crew. They were on an expedition to find a Kurain Village treasure lost in the tragedy.

"Do you really think we'll find it today?" Ema asked Apollo as she put her snacks away.

"I hope so. That Magatama has to be here. Its value has more zeroes than I can count!"

Apollo pointed the camera at his face again. "This is the third day we've been down here, and without a doubt, the Magatama has to be here! Look out, Gantanic! Here comes Justice!" he cried excitedly, breaking the camera's lens.

"You know, I'm starting to think your 'Chords of Steel' aren't worth even a Snackoo," Ema said as her colleague looked at his camera sadly.

_Well, if we ever spring a leak, at least I can yell for help_, he thought to himself bitterly. He looked back out the porthole and saw that they were nearing the targeted area.

"Ema, I think it's time to take out Little Justice," he informed her. Ema shook her head at him.

"If you're going to name the equipment, please give them something they're not ashamed of," she said as she sat in front of a camera screen. She donned a pair of hand controls and a huge pair of goggles and hit a switch to release 'Little Justice,' a small robot used to maneuver in tight places and move debris out of the way.

As she steered it through a doorway, she passed all sorts of items—plates, tables, beds, even an old tub.

"Hold it!" Apollo screeched in her ear. "Go back over there!"

She turned the robot in the direction he indicated and saw debris piled up.

"Flip it over."

She took the mechanical hands and grabbed a part of the debris, having some difficulty flipping it, but managing to move it. Underneath was a safe, ugly and encrusted with rust and age. Apollo and Ema broke out in a smile.

…

The safe was brought up to the surface onto the main ship, the Red Justice. Ema, despite her happiness at the discovery, couldn't help but frown at the name as their little ship was taken onboard. All the crew scurried around the safe, wondering if all their efforts were finally going to pay off. One crew member took a buzz saw and cut the hinges off. Two others took a hook and chain to yank off the door. Mud and water spilled out, and Apollo reached in.

His hands found old money, documents, a folder of some sort, and mud, but there was no Magatama.

…

Ema was below the deck in the lab, using a soft water spray to clear off mud from the contents of the folder. In the background, Apollo was talking to his sponsors.

"Mr. Gavin, look, there was no stone, but I swear, I will find it," he said into the phone, his voice cracking.

"Alright, Herr Forehead, we'll give you an extension or two, but do be sure to find it."

"Thank you, sir!"

He hung up and his attention was caught by the picture Ema was now holding.

"Lemme see that!" he demanded. The picture was of a naked young man wearing a cravat around his waist and hanging around his neck was—

"The Magatama!" he and Ema cried together.

…

An elderly Mila Edgeworth was outside in the backyard of her granddaughter, Trucy's home, watering some plants. Inside the kitchen a small television was displaying the news. As she was watering the plants she overheard the word 'Magatama' and walked inside.

"What is it, Grandma?" Trucy asked when she saw Mila.

"Turn the volume up, will you?" she asked the teenage magician. She turned it louder and they listened together to the news.

"As you can see, our crew has discovered this picture in the Gantanic," Apollo said into the camera. "Had we not gone in search of the Magatama, we wouldn't have found this picture to get a clue of who had the stone."

He smiled broadly when a tiny chocolate wafer collided with his forehead. Ema had tossed a Snackoo at him.

"Apollo! You're making us look bad! You basically said that we haven't found the Magatama, but we'll settle for this piece of junk instead!" she whispered to him loudly. He answered with a look like he was shot in the heart.

…

That night as they were preparing to dive again, Apollo received a phone call.

"I don't have time for this! We're about to go back under!"

"Trust me sir, you'll wanna take this one."

Apollo reluctantly took the phone. "Hello, this is Apollo Justice."

"Hello, Mr. Justice. I was wondering if you have found the Magatama," Mila asked.

Apollo looked at the man that just handed him the phone.

"I told you so," he mouthed clearly. Apollo returned to the phone. "Well no, but can you tell me who the man in the picture is?"

"Oh yes," Mila said with a smile. "That man is me."

…

The next day Mila and Trucy were flown by helicopter to the Red Justice. They were welcomed by Apollo and his crew and were brought to their rooms.

"Is everything okay? Can I get you anything?" he offered nervously.

"Yup! Thanks, Polly!" Trucy said, already warming up to Apollo.

"Good. Now, would you two like to see some things we found so far?"

They agreed and were led to the lab, where various items were laid out. Mila looked at a small, silvery mirror. Her face lit up as she examined it.

"This was mine," she said, looking at Trucy. "This is amazing!"

She set it down and picked up a tattered old cravat. She held it close to her heart with her eyes closed. Apollo knelt next to her wheelchair.

"Are you ready to tell us your story?" he said quietly. She nodded.

…

"Okay, I'm Ema Skye, and I'll explain how the Gantanic went down!" Ema said proudly as she showed them to a screen displaying a simulation.

"As you can see here, the Gantanic was going at top speeds into what usually has a field of icebergs. They were minding their own business when a Nazi submarine hits them with a couple of torpedoes on the starboard side near the bow. The bow starts to sink quickly, and as it tries to go vertical, the ship snaps in half, leaving the stern to float for a few more moments. Then the two sections both hit the bottom of the ocean and land not too far from each other. Interesting, huh?" she asked with a grin. Trucy and Mila politely smiled back at her.

"Actually, I remember things a little differently," Mila explained. Everyone gathered around her, curious as to how her experience was any different from Ema's calculated explanation. Mila stood up from her wheelchair, and with the aid of her cane she peered into another screen showing sections of the Gantanic underwater.

"It's been eighty-four years…" she began, but was quickly cut off by Apollo.

"No worries, Mrs. Edgeworth! Just do your best!" he cheered her on.

"Do you want to hear the story or not, Mr. Justice?" she asked sweetly. Apollo ran his fingers through his twin spikes in embarrassment.

"It's been eighty-four years since the tragedy. And even after all those years, I can still smell how new everything was. World War Two was just getting into full swing, and everyone wanted to escape the horrors of Adolf Hitler. The Gantanic was the grandest ship at the time, and everyone wanted to relieve their fears with the most luxurious possible way to America."


	2. Chapter 2

July 20, 1941

Time: 11:30 am

Thousands and thousands of people gathered around the port where the Gantanic was preparing for its maiden voyage. Some of the thousands were boarding while others looked on in awe of the sheer vastness of the ship. All around people were talking excitedly about it while others were checking their baggage in, getting health checks, and saying their good-byes to friends and loved ones. Two fancy cars drove up, honking at people to move out of the way. They stopped in front of a place to check their baggage in, and the first person out of the vehicle was a young, silvery-gray haired, seventeen-year-old Miles Fey who looked up at the ship with a frown.

"It doesn't look any grander than the Titanic," he scoffed as his business partner/lover, Phoenix Wright, stood next to him.

"My dear man, it's far bigger than the Titanic, and far more luxurious," he said as he turned to help Miles's mother out of the car. "Your son is far too difficult to please, Morgan."

Morgan Fey smiled. "So this is the ship that is claimed unsinkable."

"Of course it is! Zeus himself cannot sink this ship," Phoenix said as a baggage inspector walked up to him.

"Sir, if you would please take your baggage up to—"

"I leave it up to you, my good man," Phoenix said as he stuffed the man's pocket with a wad of cash. The man looked at him and squeaked offers of anything else he could do for him, but Phoenix's bodyguard, Manfred von Karma, stepped in and showed him where their bags were and where to take them. Miles got on the ship, looking around with a look of disdain at everything around him as he adjusted his cravat, followed soon by his mother and Phoenix.

"HOLD IT!" Apollo cried out suddenly. "Aren't you a woman?"

"I was a man named Miles Fey at the time," Mila answered. "But now I am a woman."

Everyone in the room stared with their mouths wide open, even Trucy, who had no clue that her grandmother had once been male.

"But, but Grandma, how did I—"

"Oh Trucy, your grandfather and I adopted children," Mila said pleasantly. "May I continue my story?"

Off in a bar, four men sat at a round table playing a final round of poker. The pot held a pile of coins, a pocket watch, a pocket knife, and two tickets for the Gantanic. One of the men was growling angrily at his partner, who had been foolish enough to bet the tickets. The other two men stared at the pot hungrily, but also not happy that they had bet everything they had.

"Larry, I can't believe you bet everything we own," Dick Gumshoe whispered to his friend. Larry Butz gave him a goofy smile and a thumbs up.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be okay!"

Around the table the men were staring hard into their cards. Larry traded one card for a new one, and hoped that they wouldn't lose.

"Okay, let's see what we all have!" Larry announced. Gumshoe glumly threw his cards on the table. "I've got nothing."

One of the other men threw his cards down as well. He also had nothing. The other mystery man haughtily laid his hand down.

"Uh oh. Hey, sorry pal, I tried," Gumshoe said as he looked at the two-pair on the table. Larry shook his head.

"Well, I'm sorry too, because I got a full house!"

The two friends celebrated while the other two squabbled over the loss of their tickets. Larry grabbed the tickets from the table and kissed them repeatedly.

"I'm going home to America!" he yelled as he hugged Gumshoe. The bar owner looked up.

"Sorry mate, but Gantanic is going to America, in five minutes!" he called from across the room. The two men looked at each other and scooped up the rest of their winnings, grabbed their bags and made a mad dash for the ship.

"Hey pal, how lucky are we that we won?"

"Hey, yeah! Too bad they were dumb enough to bet their tickets!"

They arrived just in time to present their tickets and hop into the ship. They continued running down the hall up some stairs to get up on the top deck so they could wave to everyone below them.

"Good-bye, everyone!"

"See ya, pal!"

And so on. Afterward, they wandered around the ship, looking to what kind of room their well-earned, third-class ticket got them.

They found their room: a small room with cheap-looking bunk-beds, a small sink, and a tiny closet with a toilet. Two other men were already in it. They introduced themselves and settled in.

…

Up in the first-class suites Miles was setting up some artwork he had purchased before the trip. His maid helped him put them up and around the place while Manfred directed other servants to put their things in certain spots. After a few moments Phoenix walked in with a bottle of wine in his hand.

"What a waste of money those children's artwork was," he sneered. "Who is this Steel Samurai anyhow? How can something so ridiculous be so popular?"

"I can't help that I have good taste and you don't," Miles teased as he set down a picture of the Steel Samurai on the couch. Phoenix set his bottle of wine into an ice bucket.

"At least they were cheap."

…

The next day, Captain Judgy ordered his crew to press the speed further. Larry and Gumshoe ran to the bow of the ship to watch some dolphins try to out-swim the ship.

"Hey Gumshoe! Check it out!" Larry called as he stepped up onto the railing. He spread his arms out wide, took in a deep breath and yelled, "I'M THE KING OF THE W—!"

BAM! He was suddenly clutching his head—a seagull had smacked right into his face and died from the harsh contact.

"Whoa, hey pal, are you okay?"

"OW!"

…

Miles was having lunch in the first-class lunch area with Phoenix, Morgan, Adrian Andrews, the designer of the ship; Damon Gant, the owner of the ship; and a woman whose temple had just struck it rich named Bikini. They were discussing the idea around Gantanic.

"She's the largest ship ever created by man!" Gant said proudly. "And designed solely by our master ship builder, Miss Adrian Andrews."

Adrian smiled around the table. "The design was mine, but the whole idea was Mr. Gant's," she explained. "He wanted a ship whose luxury couldn't be challenged."

As she spoke, Miles took a cigarette and lit it at the table. Morgan leaned toward him and said, "You know I don't like that, Miles."

Miles shot his mother a look, but Phoenix took the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out.

"He knows," he said as he smashed the butt out in the nearby ashtray. He then gave his and Miles' orders to the waiter. Bikini smiled at Phoenix.

"You gonna hand-feed him too, Nick?" she asked, stifling a laugh. "Hey, who thought up the name Gantanic? Don't tell me it was you, Mr. Gant? What does Gantanic mean?"

"Well, I was thinking of Titanic, but I also wanted it to reflect me. The ship and I both love to swim, but we also love luxury. Size is a sign of luxury and strength, wouldn't you say?"

Miles spoke up. "You know, some people think that those with large vehicles feel inadequate in other areas?" Adrian snickered into her meal while Morgan looked at her disdainfully.

"What's the matter with you?" she told her son. Miles excused himself, leaving Gant to wonder about the inadequacy he was talking about.

…

Larry had finally wiped the bird's blood from his face and was on the top deck, drawing the people he saw nearby. Gumshoe was having a nice chat with a man he just met.

"Will Powers," the large man said as he extended his hand to both of the men. They each took it as they introduced themselves and the powerfully built man took a peek at Larry's drawings.

"Do you get paid for your art?" he asked, but Larry spotted something interesting. A young man in a cravat, standing on an upper deck, was looking off in the distance, a glum look on his face.

"Hmph. If I had as much cash as that guy, I'd be freakin' happy all the time!" Larry said as he snapped his art book shut. But neither Will nor Gumshoe were paying any attention because a young, black-haired woman and a little girl with pretzel-style hair were standing on the railing, flapping their arms and crying "Ooooh! Ooooh!" in a high pitched tone at the ocean. The three men walked up to them to figure out what in the world was wrong with them.

"Hi! I'm Maya! And this is my little cousin, Pearl!" the black-haired girl said. The little girl hid behind the taller one, intimidated by Will's scary look. Will gave a bashful smile.

"Sorry, I know I look kind of scary, but I'm really a shy guy myself," he said. Pearl slowly stepped out from behind Maya and smiled.

"Um, can you explain what you were doing just now?" Larry asked.

"I was calling Gourdy, the friendly sea monster!" Maya said, not an ounce of shame in her words. Everyone gave her a look that told her she needed to explain some more. "Gourdy is a legendary sea monster who would come up to the surface of the ocean to save people who are in danger of drowning. Apparently his only friend is Mia, Mistress of the Sea, and she rides his back to help him search for those who are in distress. Why are you looking at me like that?"

The three men didn't know how to respond to such an incredible tale. Pearl tugged on Gumshoe's coat.

"Mr. Scruffy? I know it sounds incredible, but Gourdy really exists! We saw a picture of him not too long ago, and that's why we came on this ship in the first place," she explained. Gumshoe looked down at her.

"Um, my name's not 'Scruffy' pal, it's Gumshoe."

"And you can call me Will!"

"And I'm Larry!"

They all shook hands and went off to find something better to do.

…

"That night at dinner, I found I was having difficulty controlling the rage inside me," Mila continued. "I felt trapped, unable to break free of everything around me, and no matter how much I screamed, no one would come rescue me."

Miles was running across the top deck, tearing at his clothes to free himself from its restraints. He didn't care if he bumped into other passengers, he just knew that he had to get to the stern of the ship, and end it all there. He passed by a young man lying on a bench but couldn't see who it was because his eyes were so full of tears. He made it to the stern and looked over the edge, clutching the railing as he gasped for breath. When he calmed down, he stepped over the railing. Putting his back to the ship, he stared down into the frothy water, contemplating if he should jump or not. The cold wind bit at his face as he prepared to jump.

"Don't do it!"

Miles whipped his head around and saw a young man with fluffy brown hair in an orange coat, his face twisted with worry.

"Stay back! Don't come near me!"

"No, it's alright, just gimme your hand and I'll pull you back—"

"Go away! Don't tell me what to do!"

"No wait! Hold that pose!"

"What?!"

Larry pulled out his sketchbook and quickly drew Miles' shaking figure, his tongue sticking out as he was deep in thought.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sketching you. This is amazing! The fear in your eyes, the rage emanating from your body, the sadness all wrapped up into one big melodrama! This is ART!"

"How dare you draw me in such a state! You don't know me!"

"Okay, well I'm done. By the way, I'm Larry Butz. Now, I'll just—"

Larry slowly walked over to Miles to try to bring him back over the edge, but instead he tripped on his own feet and accidentally pushed Miles off the rail. Miles quickly grabbed onto Larry's outstretched hand, screaming bloody murder.

"Help me!" he screamed. "Please, someone!"

Nearby some crew members heard his plea for help and quickly made their way to the source of the voice. Larry was able to pull Miles over the rail, falling on top of Miles. When the crew members arrived they found the two in a very compromising position.

"What the hell is this?!" one of the men asked aloud. Looking at the two men on the floor, Miles was half undressed from when he was trying to tear off his clothes and Larry was on top of him.

"Fetch the Master-at-arms!" the first man ordered.

…

A few moments later Miles was wrapped tightly in a blanket being offered a glass of water by a fellow first-class member, Marvin Grossberg and Manfred while Larry was slapped into some handcuffs. Phoenix walked right up into Larry face.

"What did you think you were doing, putting your hands on my lov—ah, business partner?!" he screeched at Larry. Larry turned his head away, but Phoenix wouldn't let him.

"Look at me, you dreck!"

"Nick, stop it!" Miles demanded. "Nick, it was an accident!"

Phoenix looked at her suspiciously. "An accident?"

"Yeah, it was for something… really stupid, really," Miles fumbled for an answer. "I was leaning over, looking for… uh, for Gourdy! The friendly sea monster! And then I slipped, but had it not been for Mr. Butz, I would've gone overboard."

"You were looking—he was looking for Gourdy!" Phoenix said awkwardly to Grossberg. Grossberg seemed to accept Miles' answer.

"Ah, youth, like the fresh scent of lemons," he said, reminiscing over his own youthful adventures. "Although I must say, men and unknown creatures do not mix."

The Master-at-arms, a man in a mask named Godot, peered into Larry's face.

"Is that how things went down?"

Larry risked a glance at Miles, who gave him a look telling him to agree.

"Yup, that's how things went!" Larry spouted.

"Well then, that's settled!" Grossberg said happily. "The boy's a hero and my hemorrhoids can finally calm down."

Godot removed the handcuffs as Phoenix began to lead Miles away.

"Take better care of that kitten, Mr. Wright," Godot said as he walked away. Phoenix ignored his comment and was about to leave when Grossberg spoke up.

"I believe he deserves a little something for his actions."

Phoenix stopped and looked at the large man. "Of course. Mr. von Karma, I think a nice twenty should do it."

Miles was appalled at the small reward. "Ahem, is that all I am to you?"

Phoenix wasn't pleased. "Alright then, how about you join us for dinner tomorrow night? You can entertain us with your story of how you rescued Miles."

With that, the two walked away, leaving Manfred and Larry by themselves. Larry was about to leave when Manfred pointed something out.

"It's interesting how Mr. Fey suddenly slips and you still have time to sketch him."

Larry stopped dead in his tracks as Manfred left to follow Phoenix.

…

That same night in their suite, Phoenix decided it was time to give Miles a symbol of his love.

"I've noticed you've been rather, unhappy lately," he started as Miles sat in front of a mirror, checking his reflection. Phoenix knelt beside him with a box.

"I had planned to give this to you once our businesses merged, but I suppose this is as good a time as any." He opened the box to reveal a small, glowing, green stone in the shape of a comma with a hole in the middle. It was attached to a fine golden necklace encrusted with little diamonds. Miles was surprised at the gift.

"A relic of an ancient spirit channeling family, said to have been lost to the ages," he explained as he placed the necklace around Miles' neck.

"The Magatama," they said together as Miles carefully touched the stone around his neck.

"Yes, and extremely valuable. Just like you," Phoenix said as he caressed Miles' cheek. "There's nothing I wouldn't get for you, and all I ask is for you to open your heart to me, Miles."

Miles couldn't get any words out. He simple ran his fingers over the glowing stone, and stared past his reflection in the mirror.

…

The next day, Miles met up with Larry and they spent most of the afternoon chatting about Larry's life.

"Well, I used to be a hot dog vendor at this lake," he started. "Then I got tired of that and became a part-time security guard. And well, after that I became an apprentice under the famous children's book author, Elise Deauxnim! But then she kinda died, and well, since then I've been trying to find work as a traveling artist.

"Hey, we've been all over this ship and all we've talked about was me!" Larry blurted out. "Somehow, I don't think that's what you wanted to talk to me about."

Miles took his time answering. "Mr. Butz, I—"

"Larry."

"—Larry. I want to thank you for not just pulling me back, but also for your kind words."

They took a pause in their walk as Miles continued.

"I know what you must be thinking. 'Poor little rich boy. What sorts of worries could he have when he has everything anyone could ever want?"

"Not at all. Well, I was wondering what was up, but it was nothing like that!" Larry answered quickly, but Miles didn't seem to mind.

"Pretty much everything in my life. Everyone and everything, to be exact," he said as he stepped toward the side of the ship, gazing over the ocean. "Everything seems to be going so fast without me, and I can't seem to do anything to stop it."

Larry was lost at this point, but Miles continued on. "Ever since Phoenix and I agreed to merge our companies hundreds of invitations have gone out to help us celebrate such a huge success. And also, we have become more than just business partners."

Miles flashed a massive diamond ring on his ring finger. Larry's eyes bugged out.

"WOW! So uh, are you two dating, or something?"

Miles shook his head. "It's supposed to be kept secret, but he wants to keep me close to him. I even offered to have an operation done on me so we wouldn't have to keep too many secrets, but he says that he'd rather have me the way I am."

"Do you love him?"

Miles was caught off guard. "What?"

"Do you love him?"

"What… how rude! How dare you ask such a thing?"

"Why is it so hard to answer such a simple question?"

The man in the cravat laughed. He started to walk away when he spotted Larry's sketchbook.

"And what might this be?" he asked as he swiped it from under Larry's arm. They sat down on one of the nearby chairs and looked at them together.

Inside the sketchbook were sketches of various men and women, clothed and nude.

"These are… rather good," he said as he flipped another page.

"Thanks! I didn't think they were that good to begin with, but they get me enough for food, I guess," he said as he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"This is… exquisite. You certainly see people for who they are."

"Yeah…uh, sure."

…

A few floors down in the tea room Morgan Fey and two other friends were having tea when they spotted Bikini.

"Let's leave before she comes," Morgan said as she and her friends got up to leave. Bikini just barely reached them as they stood up.

"Well hello, ladies, I was just wondering if I could join you for tea," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry, you missed it. We were just about to do something else," Morgan answered, not returning the smile.

"Well, that's fine, I need something to do anyway!"

Across the room, Damon Gant and Captain Judgy were discussing the speed of the ship.

"I've noticed that we're not going nearly fast enough," Gant said bitterly.

"Yes, well, we're already making good time."

"But I want the passengers to experience the speed of the ship! It'll be like swimming at top speeds without the edge of the pool to hold them back."

"But sir, I would prefer that we didn't push the engines until they're ready to handle it."

Gant gave him a hard stare, accompanied by a long pause. A very long pause. Without him blinking, too. Still pausing. Aaaand…

"Ah, hah, hah, hah, hah!" he howled, clapping his gloved hands heavily. "With the parts brand new and all, I see no reason for them to not be able to handle it!"

The Captain could only agree with him. It was his ship, after all.

…

"Okay, now just, suck it in… and then let it all out."

"I don't think I can do this."

"No, just relax, and… WHOO!"

Larry was teaching Miles how to be happier and more excitable. He noticed that he had trouble expressing himself in a joyful way, and what better way than yelling "WHOO!" out at the ocean?

Prior to that, the two had been discussing why Miles couldn't just go out and do as he pleased. He was, after all, seventeen, and half the owner of a huge business in cravats. They were happily "WHOO-ing!" at the ocean, not really caring if people were staring.

"…whoo…"

"That's pitiful! Now really take a deep breath, and… WHOO!"

"…whoo!"

"That's a little better, now this time, throw your arms up over your head, and WHOO!"

He was in mid-WHOO! when Morgan, Bikini, and two other women appeared next to them.

"Mother?!" Miles cried out in surprise. Larry quickly choked on his yell and smiled at the group of women.

"Mother, this is Larry, the man I told you about."

She looked at the strange man like he was some sort of freak. Bikini didn't notice.

"Well Larry, you seem to be a good man to have around," she said with a kind smile. Just then a ship officer with a megaphone announced dinner.

"DINNER'S READY! COME AND GET IT!" he yelled, the megaphone screeching. Miles told Larry that he'd see him at dinner and went off with his mother and her friends to change. Bikini was left with Larry.

"Have you any clue what you're about to get into?" she asked seriously.

"A fancy dinner with rich people, what else?"

"Sort of, but also these people are going to tear you apart. What are you going to wear?"

Larry tugged at his orange coat. She snickered.

"Alright, I guess I'll just have to lend you something."

…

Larry entered the grand staircase wearing a fancy new tuxedo, his hair now slicked back on his head. He hated it, but what could he do? He was greeted by the doorman, but wasn't sure what to say. Just then a young woman and a little girl ran by him, chased by a ship officer with a bad temper.

"Whippersnappers! I'll teach you two to sneak in here for food!" she cried as she chased them up the stairs. Many onlookers briefly glanced up at the chase, but quickly returned to their idle chatter. Larry reached the bottom of the stairs and wondered when Miles was going to arrive.

Many other upper class people starting filling up the area, and Larry took the opportunity to study some of their mannerisms. After a while he got bored and admired the large glass dome that shimmered above the room. He turned to look at the clock where the twin stair cases met when he saw Miles at the top, wearing a fine suite topped with a cravat. They beamed at each other. They strolled over to the dining area while Miles pointed out some of the people there.

"That's Juan Corrida, he's the famous actor. And that's Redd White, the richest man on the ship. His little wife, April, is my age and comes equipped with her own ballistics."

He pointed out a few others and was joined by Bikini. The three linked arms with Bikini in the middle and headed for their table.

The room was buzzing with chatter and orders, dozens of waiters and waitresses carrying food and drink here and there, yet the conversations were still hearable. Morgan was ready to rip Larry apart with her questions.

"Tell me, Mr. Butz, how it is down in steerage?"

"Oh, well, it's not too bad. I got a bed, and a sink, and it's all good!"

The questions were all like that, becoming more and more condescending. Phoenix jumped in to help Morgan with the questions, but Larry just kept answering them without any clue of the purpose of the questions. Miles liked that about Larry. After about an hour, the men decided to leave to go to the smoking room, but Larry decided to go off in his own direction.

"Must you go?" Miles asked. Larry stretched out his hand, and Miles took it and shook it.

"Yeah, see ya later!"

Larry left Miles with a paper in his hand, telling him to meet him at the clock. Miles was able to sneak away from the other men and met the other man at the designated point.

"So… are you ready to party?"


	3. Chapter 3

Down in the bowels of the ship, everyone in third class gathered in a large room playing loud folk music, drinking cheap beer, dancing, cheering, playing games and having a good time. Larry was dancing with little Pearl while Maya was having a drinking contest with a guy she just met. Gumshoe was there too, and he had found himself a girlfriend named Maggey Byrde. Will was arm wrestling with some guys on the side of the room. A huge platform to dance on was in the middle of the room, waiting for people to dance upon it. Miles looked on as he clapped along with the music. After the song had ended, Larry pulled Miles into the crowd of people dancing.

"I'm gonna dance with him now," Larry said to Pearl. Pearl gave him a sad puppy face as Larry latched onto Miles. "You're still the best, Pearl!" he called as he and Miles whirled around the room. After doing a round around the platform, Larry pulled him up on the platform and they started dancing like drunken fools. They linked arms and spun around, having a good time. The song ended and they took a break by grabbing some beer and taking a seat near Will. Nearby Maya had apparently beaten a group of men at their drinking contest while Gumshoe continued doing a gig with Maggey. Larry took a sip of his beer while Miles downed most of the glass.

"What?" he asked. "A first-class guy can't drink?" Just then that same ship officer Larry had seen earlier ran into the two, Larry's beer spilling all over Miles.

"Wherezzat whipper znapper?" she yelled, buzzed from all the beer. Larry pushed her away and checked up on Miles, who was laughing hysterically next to him. Will's arm was then slammed on the table, losing at arm wrestling.

"Two out of three!" he called out, and as they were preparing to wrestle again, Miles stepped in.

"So, you think you're big tough men?" he asked as he finished off his beer. "Let's see you do this!"

He stepped away from the table, indicating for people to move away from him. He leapt into the air and landed on the floor performing a perfect splits. Everyone, especially the men, groaned in pain, but was surprised at the man's talent. Miles stood up and straightened his clothes while Larry stood in amazement. He then felt a sharp pain in his thigh and fell into Larry's arms, catching him just in time. Across the room, Manfred descended halfway down the staircase and scanned the room, his eyes finally resting on Miles in the arms of Larry. He quickly returned to inform Phoenix of his whereabouts.

…

A Nazi submarine was trailing behind the Gantanic, led by Captain Dahlia Hawthorne. Her crew was assigned to follow the great ship and to sink it, preventing the passengers from retreating to America.

"Prepare the torpedoes!" Dahlia said gleefully. "And make sure there's plenty!"

A mousy man with a puppet on his hand approached her. "Um, captain?" the man said. The puppet then punched him in the nose.

"If you've got something to say, say it!" the puppet said with an irritated voice.

"Trilo." The puppet turned his head back to Dahlia.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Is something the matter? Why aren't the torpedoes being loaded?"

"Um, well…"

"Speak up, Ben! Or Trilo, I don't care!" She ordered, and another man with golden highlights on his bangs spoke up.

"Well, that is to say, Ben or Trilo? Which is the real dummy in this situation? The one who refuses to speak, or the one with the domineering vocabulary? Personally, both of them lack the ability to speak as eloquently as I—"

"That's enough, Wellington!" Dahlia growled, growing impatient with her crew. That shut him up, allowing Matt Engarde to try his luck.

"Um, how about I check with my manager?" he said as he turned to another man, Shelly de Killer. Dahlia sighed, unable to believe her crew is nothing more than halfwits and chatterboxes.

"Captain," de Killer said in a gentle voice. "We only have two torpedoes left from yesterday's hunt."

"What? How can that be? We were given extras for just this occasion!"

"Yes, but after you used them on schools of fish, some coral reefs, a mermaid, and the hunt for Mistress of the Sea Mia Fey, we only have two left for Gantanic."

Dahlia's eyes became a demonic glare at her crew. "…Mia… Fey… MIA… FEY! I swear I will be the one to destroy you!"

…

The next morning Miles was having a quiet breakfast with Phoenix on their private promenade deck. As soon as the maid served them, Phoenix spoke up.

"Why didn't you come to bed with me?" he asked.

"I was tired. I didn't want to disturb you," Miles answered as he set down his tea cup.

"Well, no doubt after all the energy you used up in the steerage party."

_He found out, _Miles thought bitterly. "I see you sent your guard dog to sniff me out."

"You will not behave in such a manner again, Miles," Phoenix said with a stern voice.

"I'm not a servant you can command," Miles dared to say. "I'm your fiancé."

His words struck a nerve. "Of course you're my fiancé, and you'll act like a good fiancé!" he screamed as he flipped over the table. He forced Miles back in his chair.

"That's right you're my bitch and I expect you to honor me like a good bitch does! You will honor me because I will not be made to be a fool!" His tone calmed down as Miles' expression of fear pierced through him. "Now, is that clear?"

"…yes…"

"Good. Excuse me." Phoenix left the deck as a maid came in to help clean up the mess. Miles tried to help, but was only able to cry, his tears dotting the floor. Afterward he was sent to go dress up, the maid assisting him as he put on a clean suit. Morgan walked in, shooing away the maid.

"You are never to see that boy again, Miles," she said firmly as she straightened his cravat. "Miles, I forbid it!"

"Oh Mother, you're just on your period."

Morgan spun her son around, gripping his shoulders angrily. "You know our situation! If we don't merge our businesses together, all the money's gone!"

"I know the money's gone, Mother, you remind me every day."

"Your father left us with nothing but debts and the unification with you and Mr. Wright guarantees that everything will turn out right."

"Why are you placing all this on me?"

"Why are you being so selfish?!"

Miles was taken aback. "I'm being selfish?"

Morgan stared hard into her son's eyes. "Do you want me to work as some temple caretaker? Is that what you want? All our things and their memories sold into auctions, scattered to strangers who don't understand their true value?"

Morgan stifled a sob behind her hand as she turned away from her son.

"It's so unfair," he whispered.

"Of course it is," she said as she turned back to him. "We're women."

Miles blinked. "Um, Mother?"

"Oh Miles, you're practically a woman! Look how dainty you are! Look how Mr. Wright easily dominates you!"

She kissed his cheek and returned to fixing his cravat, Miles left to wonder about her words and how true they were.

…

Miles found himself in the middle of a church service held on the ship, singing along with everyone else in the room. Larry was outside trying to convince two employees that he needed to talk to Miles.

"I was just here last night! You gotta believe me!" he boomed in their faces.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't remember you."

Just then Manfred emerged from the doors. "Mr. Wright and Mrs. Fey would like to thank you for your presence last night and asked me to present you with a little gift," he said as he pulled out two ten dollar bills from his pocket.

"I don't want your money."

"Also I was asked to remind you that you hold a third-class ticket, and your presence here is no longer acceptable. Now then," he said as he gave the other two men a ten each.

"Whoa, wait! I'll take it!" Larry cried as he snatched the two bills from the men's hands. "But I still wanna see Miles!"

"Tsk, tsk. Gentlemen, please show Mr. Butz out," Manfred said as he handed the two employees two new ten dollar bills.

"Yes sir!" they said as they led Larry away. Inside the room, Miles heard everything that went on outside, and his heart sank as the song ended.

…

Outside, Larry wasn't ready to give up. He had his friends help him sneak up onto the first-class deck so he could find a way to meet Miles. He took a coat and hat that was lying on a chair and quickly put them on, trying to blend in with everyone else.

Not too far away, Miles was on a tour with a small group of people being led by Adrian Andrews.

"Um, Miss Andrews?" he asked.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Um, I was just doing some calculations, and… there doesn't seem to be enough life boats for everyone."

"Oh, well there's nothing to worry about. Besides, if we had put more life boats, the whole ship would look dreadfully cluttered," she answered with a smile, but inside she knew that she couldn't trust her words.

"Well, it sure is a waste of deck space for an unsinkable ship," Phoenix laughed as he tapped one of the life boats smartly with his cane.

"Don't worry, Miles," Adrian said, "I built you a strong enough ship that won't need a single life boat! Trust me!"

Everyone walked on, leaving Miles behind. He was about to follow them when he was pulled away by someone in a long coat and a hat. The two ducked into an exercise room and waited till the group had gone far enough.

"Larry, we can't do this anymore."

"I just need to talk to you for a bit."

"No Larry, no. We can't. I'm Nick's business partner. We're best friends."

Larry backed Miles into the wall. "Miles… you're a rich, spoiled, beautiful man, but underneath all that, you're the most wonderful, most amazing, guy… man, I've ever hung out with."

"Larry, I—"

"No, let me finish. Um… okay, how about this: I'm not a complete idiot. I know I can't get you all those fancy cravats you like to wear, but, I can't just leave you with some guy you're not even best friends with. I wanna be your best friend, Miles!"

Miles looked with earnest into Larry's pleading eyes. "Well, I'm fine."

"No you're not. They've got you tied up and gagged like a bondage slave, and if you don't do something now, that kinky leather's gonna be too tight for you to breathe. And then whatever it is that's in you that I love to hang out with will die."

Miles choked back tears as he felt a lump rise in his throat. "It's not up to you to save me from bondage, Larry."

"I know. That's all you."

He looked deep into the weaker man's eyes but the other man looked away.

"I have to go. Leave me alone," the bondage slave said as he quickly made his exit. Larry was left to despair over losing his almost best friend.

…

He finally caught up with his mother and was having tea with her and her friends. As the women discussed the celebration for the merging of their businesses, Miles noticed a little girl with a pretzel hair style being taught how to behave like a first-class citizen.

"Like this, Pearly," Maya said as she made Pearl straighten up. "Good, now put your napkin in your lap daintily, like this! Now, to ask for a cookie, first you gotta order it, and then when it comes tell the waiter that it's the wrong one…"

_Is this how others see us as? Are we really nothing more than upper class snobs who sneer down at those less fortunate? Is it worth losing everything important to me to be this way?_

Miles watched on, and realized he had made a big mistake.

…

Up near the bow of the ship, Larry was watching the sunset quietly. The sun painted the sky a golden hue while the water shone a brilliant sparkle. He hardly noticed the dainty man behind him.

"Hello, Larry."

He turned in the direction of the voice and found Miles standing before him.

"I change my mind."

Larry smiled. "Wanna go do that thing in that one movie with the bow of the ship?"

"Sure!"

They turned to look at the bow but found that another couple had beat them to it.

"Adrian, I don't think—"

"Shh. Take my hand."

Chief Officer Franziska von Karma and Adrian Andrews were attempting to reenact a certain scene of a certain movie. I wonder which movie that could be? Oh right, Jaws.

"Okay, now close your eyes."

"Adrian, this is pure foolishness—"

"Hold onto the railing. Good, now step up. Okay… do you trust me?"

"What sort of foolish—"

Man, that chick talks too much," Larry said as they continued to watch. _Maybe it's a good thing we didn't get to it. Not especially after that bird incident._

"Adrian, I'm flying!" The two women laughed as the wind blew through their bodies.

"I believe I can fly," Adrian sang softly into the other woman's ear. Larry was getting disgusted.

"Man, that can't be the most romantic song you sing to someone like that," Larry said to Miles, who giggled a little. "C'mon, let's go… do something manly."

They left as the two women broke out into a make-out session.


	4. Chapter 4

"That was the last time Gantanic ever saw daylight. And the first and last time it ever saw two women go at it," Mila said. Apollo was a bit uneasy hearing about the two women and their actions.

"I don't get it, if the captain kept ordering more speed, how did the Nazi submarine catch up to them enough to launch their torpedoes?" Ema asked, once again snacking on her Snackoos.

"That's a good question but, aren't you the one who does all the scientific research on how things happened?" Mila asked, stabbing Ema in the heart with her words.

"…um… well…"

Apollo laughed. "Wow, she really got you there, didn't she?"

"Hey, you're in charge, shouldn't you know more about it?"

"Gggnn… " Apollo fell back, his twin horns drooping.

"So, when did the drawing come around?" Trucy asked innocently.

"Well… that evening after we met at the bow, I took Larry back to my suite to show him the Magatama that Phoenix had given me."

…

"Whoa, it's like, glowing! What is it?"

"It's the Magatama that once belonged to a great, spirit medium named Ami," Miles explained as Larry continued to examine it. "It was supposedly lost to the ages but now it's in my possession."

Larry held it up to the light, wondering what made it glow while not at all acknowledging a word that Miles said about its history.

"Larry, I want you to draw me wearing this."

The poor man nodded. "Uh huh."

Miles grinned at the words he was about to say. "Wearing only this."

Larry shot him a look like he was going to throw up. Miles laughed.

"Just kidding. I'll also wear a little something."

…

The artist had rearranged the furniture in the sitting room so that the couch was in the middle of the room and a chair and small table were in front of it for him to work at. The dainty man walked in wearing a thin robe and stood before him.

"Here," he said as he tossed Larry a dollar. "Just because we're best friends doesn't mean I should get special treatment. Besides, I always get what I want, no matter the cost."

He stepped away from Larry, and without turning away, he dropped his robe to the floor, revealing his only clothing to be the Magatama and a cravat covering his 'dainty parts.' Larry was shocked at how a dainty man can have such gorgeous abs without so much as lifting a tea cup all the time.

"Um… uh, come to bed… no, the couch!"

Miles lay on the couch, one leg dangling off the arm of the couch and the other lying on the bottom cushions.

"Now, bring your hand up to your head, okay, good. Now put your other hand to your stomach and put it like it's stroking your abs."

He did as he was told. "Good. Now, look right at me, and hold that pose."

As he began to draw, Miles' heart was beating rapidly, like a wild stallion trying to break free from a stable. At one point he noticed his friend was blushing.

"Is something the matter?" he asked.

"No! I'm fine! Really!" Larry answered quickly as he finished off the cravat.

…

"Never had I felt so alive… well, up until that point," Mila said with a sigh. Everyone in the room watched her intently, completely absorbed in her story.

"Let me guess, you want to know if something exciting happened after?" she smiled. Smiles were flashing all across the room.

…

Manfred found Phoenix in the smoking room, having a smoke with some gentlemen. He pulled him away to give his report.

"None of the stewards have seen him," he reported.

"This is ridiculous! It's a ship! Where could he have possibly gone?"

"Sir, I'll keep looking if you like—"

"Well you'd better damn find him, von Karma!"

…

Back in the suite, Miles had put his clothes back on and his cravat on the correct part of his body. The drawing was tucked away in the safe along with the Magatama in its case. Larry had just finished putting the furniture back in its place when they heard someone coming through the door.

"Wait, my drawings!" Larry whispered loudly as Miles grabbed his hand and led him through a different exit. Manfred had walked through the first door when he heard another door shut. The two were nonchalantly walking down the hall when they heard Manfred come out the same door they had just left. They turned to look back at the pale man and bolted down the hall, followed closely by Manfred.

"GO! GO! GO!" Larry urged the man in the elevator to hurry up and take them to the lower floors. They had barely slipped away from the scary man as they jumped out of the elevator and down some stairs. Larry was stumbling around everywhere while Miles was laughing uncontrollably. They finally ran into a room that led to the boiler room.

"Man, this guy can't be that old, he chases like a cop!" Larry gasped as he looked through the small window in the door.

"Well, he used to be one before he became a private body guard," Miles said between giggles. Just then Manfred charged down the stairs and caught a glimpse of Larry's silly face.

"RUN!" the two men cried together as they burst through the only door and locked it behind them. They slid down a ladder that led to the boiler room, where the head worker of the men shoveling coal chewed them out.

"You can't be down here! It's too dangerous!" Terry Fawles shouted over the noises around them. The boilers towered over them, and men shoveling coal were working diligently, stopping only to watch them run by.

"Keep up the good work, guys!" Larry called as they raced down the long room. At the end was another door that led to a large storage room, where the larger items of passengers were packed away. One of the items happened to be a brand new car.

"Hey, let's hop in there!" Larry said to Miles. As they neared the car, they noticed the windows were all fogged up.

"Whoa, what have we here?"

Larry crept up near the car and pressed his ear on the door while Miles hid behind some crates. He heard a voice come from inside the car.

"Ooh… higher… no wait, lower… ah…"

"Come on now, I can't wait any longer!"

Hearing enough, he crept back to Miles.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered. "I don't think I want the angry one to find us here listening in on them!"

"Then where do we go now?" Miles whispered back as Larry dragged him away from the car. As they left, a loud moan came from inside the car.

"Sorry Adrian, but looks like your fifteen dollars belong to me now," Franziska said haughtily. "Too bad the five of hearts isn't higher than the ten of spades!"

Adrian gritted her teeth as she watched her money get stuffed into the other woman's pocket. "That's not fair! I've never played poker before! How do I know you're not cheating with the 'higher or lower' portion?!"

"Now, now, there's no point in getting angry. Look, all your anger has done is turn you into a sore loser and fog up all the windows! Who knows what people think we were doing in here?"

Franziska reached up to the window and streaked her fingers across it, leaving a clear mark.

"Really, Adrian. It's only fifteen dollars. That's nothing compared to what you were paid to design this ship."

"Sorry, but I can't help but—"

Suddenly the door to the car snapped open and two security officers shined their flashlights in the women's faces.

"Gotcha!" Jake Marshall shouted as his brother, Neil, held the door open. Franziska was frustrated by the sudden interruption and brandished her whip at them.

CRACK!

"Foolish fools only act foolishly when they have no other foolish job to foolishly perform!" she yelled as she whipped the two men. Adrian climbed out the opposite door and made a run for it when Franziska was done punishing the brothers.

…

Phoenix was in the suite with some security officers, checking to make sure nothing had been stolen. He checked the safe where he found the new drawing of Miles and a note.

"I've grown up to be a fine woman. This picture is the last trace of man in me," the note read. Phoenix was about to tear the picture in half when he had a better idea.


	5. Chapter 5

"We're close enough! Fire our last torpedoes!" Dahlia screeched at her crew.

"But Captain, what about Mia—"

"Enough, Trilo! We can get more torpedoes later, but right now, this ship has to go down!"

…

Miles and Larry found themselves on the top deck, laughing hysterically at what they had just seen.

"Poker? That's what they were worked up over? That's so—"

Miles silenced his friend by placing his fingers on his lips. "When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you. And… I want to get the operation."

"Wow, you really are a woman at heart, aren't you?" Larry laughed.

"Well, I've heard it all my life, so that's what I'm going to be," he answered as he lowered his hand away from Larry's mouth.

"Hey, you know what I like, don't you?"

The two men embraced as the two lookouts in the crow's nest above them watched on.

"Look at them, all warm and cozy. The toasty cocoon with its fires of friendship—"

"…excuse me…"

"—built only for two as it rages on—"

"…can you please…"

"—as others are destined to suffer under the merciless frost cast by—"

"LISTEN TO ME!"

"WHAT?!" Luke Atmey yelled at his partner, infuriated that his eloquent speech had been rudely interrupted by one who lacks in a voluptuous vocabulary.

"Well, it's just that, maybe, there's… torpedoes… headed… this way…" Ron DeLite said as his voice diminished with each passing word.

"Impossible, why would anyone want to—"

He looked down at the water and saw two streaks in the water headed their way. He grabbed the phone on the pole behind them to call the wheelhouse. No one was answering.

"Pick up the contraption, you useless—"

"Hello?"

"There are torpedoes approaching starboard!" he cried into the phone.

"Thank you," the receiving end said and quickly hung up. All over the ship crew members were running around trying to prevent a hit by slowing down the engines and pulling the ship in reverse. The ship was simply too large to stop fast enough, and the torpedoes made contact near the bow of the ship. The behemoth shook violently as the explosion… exploded.

Down in the lower decks the shaking was much more violent. Adrian was at her desk pouring over the blue prints of the ship when everything started shaking. Passengers in the lower decks were roughly awakened by the noise and the impact. Up in the wheelhouse Franziska was trying to keep her cool while giving orders to close the water-tight doors. Larry, as usual, didn't take any part of the situation seriously.

"Wow, I guess earthquakes occur out at sea too, huh?" he joked. He then realized that Miles had curled up in a ball near the wall.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he laid a hand on Miles' shoulder.

"E-e-earthquakes… I hate them," he whispered, his voice shaky.

"Don't worry. This ship's more solid than my head, there's no way we can sink."

"But, didn't you hear them? Torpedoes hit us. We're in danger!"

…

Deep in the bowels of the ship water had begun to flood the lowest floors. The men in the boiler room were forced to flee for their lives before the water-tight doors locked them in. Luckily, all the men were able to escape, even the Marshall brothers who had just regained consciousness from Franziska's beating. Just as the last doors closed Captain Judgy arrived at the wheelhouse.

"What happened?" the captain asked Franziska.

"Someone shot torpedoes at us, sir," Franziska answered, a bead of sweat running down her cheek. "I tried to avoid them, but they hit us on the starboard side."

"Well, that's terrible! We should close the water-tight doors!"

"It's already been done, sir."

"Good, good. I'll go meet with Miss Andrews to see more of the situation, then. Oh, and put the ship to a complete stop."

"Yes, sir!"

As he left to finish getting dressed the passengers in third-class found themselves ankle-deep in water.

…

Larry finally got Miles to calm down and started walking around. They happened to overhear the Captain, Adrian, and a few other officers talking.

"It might not hold. The ship's already getting underwater."

From the bits and pieces they picked up, they concluded that even though they hated Miles' mother and fiancé, they felt they had to inform them of what they overheard. As they walked down the long hallway to Miles' suite Manfred greeted them in an unusually friendly manner.

"We've been looking for you," he said as they ignored him. He was glad they did so, allowing him to slip the Magatama into Larry's coat pocket. The three entered the room finding it filled with officers and a distressed Phoenix and a worried Morgan. Manfred closed the door behind them.

"There's been an incident," Miles started, but was unable to finish.

"Indeed there has," Phoenix said, his eyes staring coldly around the room. "Two things have gone missing, and only one of them has returned. Fortunately, I can figure out where the other one is. Search him!"

Two officers sprung onto Larry, one of them taking his coat and the other searching his person.

"Hey! Unless you're a super model, I don't want you anywhere near this body!" Larry cried as the officer patted him down. The one with his coat held up a glowing stone.

"Is this yours, sir?" he asked Phoenix. Larry stared at it with his mouth open.

"Hey, no way! Miles, I swear, I didn't—"

"He couldn't have," Miles said, unable to take his eyes off the Magatama. "I was with him the whole time!"

Phoenix walked by him. "He must have done it when you were putting your clothes back on."

"I didn't do it! Von Karma must've slipped it in my pocket!"

"This isn't your coat, is it, boy?" one of the officers said angrily. "Property of B. Goodman. This was reported stolen just this afternoon."

"Okay, so I took the coat, but I swear, I was gonna return it!"

"Oh ho, an honest thief, are we?" Phoenix said with a smirk.

"Alright, let's take him away. Armstrong, you take him."

Officer Jean Armstrong, a rather feminine man, used his beefy arms to bear hug Larry and carried him kicking and screaming down the hall.

"YOU KNOW ME, MILES! I DIDN'T DO IT!"

…

In another part of the ship, Adrian was informing the Captain and the crew about the situation.

"The water-tight doors will only do so much. From here, the water will spill over the tops and continue all the way to the back, with no way to stop it. Not even the emergency pumps will buy enough time to get everyone off," she said as she indicated points on the blue prints, her hands shaking with fear. "There are too few life boats, and not even enough to save half the passengers."

Captain Judgy opened his eyes wide. "Well then, I guess it's time to declare a verdict. Prepare all the lifeboats and get all the passengers in their life belts!"

After everyone had received their orders, Adrian was left to wander around the ship to contemplate about what she had done. _Why didn't I build a strong enough ship? Why didn't I insist on putting more life boats? How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I learn from that other incident where the ship had too few of everything except human lives? Come to think of it, do we have more of a chance with this incident? It's the middle of summer, so the water shouldn't be as cold. And we have other ships nearby, so I'm sure we'll be fine. I wonder where Franziska is. Maybe when she's off of work we can have some tea together. And cake, ooh, I like cake. I like it when there's whip cream, so when Franziska gets some on her nose I can lick it off—_

All around the ship there was nothing but noise. Stewards were asking passengers to put their life vests on inside and to wait outside on the top deck while crew members were struggling to prepare life boats. Passengers were complaining about the noise and how the sea air was too cold and the stewards were running out of answers to give to passengers as to why everything that was happening was happening.

Other people were just acting nuts. A lady with fluffy hair was running around with a camera, taking picture of everything going on. Outside near the railing Maya and Pearl were trying to call for assistance from Gourdy again, giving the other passengers a small show to enjoy.

Many of the first-class passengers were gathered around the grand staircase, Miles and family included. Miles was following Phoenix blindly when he saw Adrian walk past him.

"Miss Andrews!" he called to her as she ascended the staircase. She turned at the sound of her name.

"Miss Andrews, I know about the torpedoes. Tell me the truth."

Adrian came back down the stairs and spoke in a low tone. "The ship will sink. In about an hour, the ship will be completely submerged. You remember your question on the lifeboats, right? Get to one quickly. Don't cause a panic by spreading the word, just go, okay?"

Miles stood there for a second, staring into Adrian's eyes. "…Yes."

…

"Sir, the closest ship to help us is the Skye Scraper, and it can be here in four hours," a crew member informed Judgy.

"Four hours? Why, that'll take longer than killing everyone on this ship!"

"Uh, sir? This isn't a good time for a joke."

"Oh, that's wasn't a joke."

The two men stood in the awkward silence until the crew member ran back to his post. Judgy walked around the deck, giving orders while lost in his idle thought. Eventually they started loading women and children first.

Not all women and children were present. The third class passengers had been locked behind gates, unable to save themselves. Gumshoe and Will were racing around trying to find openings.

…

"Why you'd even try to steal such a fine kitten, I'll never know."

The Master-at-arms Godot had taken Larry to a lower region of the ship and handcuffed him to a large pipe in a small office. Manfred had followed them there to keep an eye on him.

"I don't mind watching him for a bit," he said as Jean and Godot left to help out up top. He walked over to Larry with a horrible smile upon his face.

"You know, I have a little something for you, compliments of Mr. Phoenix Wright," he said as he pulled out his taser and sent a couple thousand volts through his body. As Larry lay helpless Manfred left the room to meet up with Phoenix.

…

Miles was next in line to get on a lifeboat, Phoenix behind him and his mother in front of him.

"Any room for a gentleman?" Phoenix asked jokingly.

"Sorry sir, only women and children," the officer said.

"Wait, if that's true, how come Miles is allowed?"

"He is under the 'women' part of 'women and children' only."

"Hey! I'm not a woman… yet," Miles protested.

"Oh, then you're under the 'children' portion. This is your mother, correct?" the officer said as he helped Morgan onto the boat with Bikini.

"Well, yes, but—"

"Then get on the boat, please."

"Miles, get on the boat," Morgan said as she took her seat. "Get on before the filth get on, too."

"Mother… shut the hell up! There aren't enough boats for everyone and you don't deserve your seat!" Miles shouted in her face, feeling like the inner bondage leather was finally coming off. "There aren't enough for even half!"

"At least the clean half will be saved," Phoenix said with no shame. Miles couldn't take it anymore.

"At least my wand is bigger than yours!"

He turned around and dashed off in another direction until Phoenix caught him by the hand.

"The hell's wrong with you?! I'm the dominant one! My wand is bigger! And what are you saying? You're his prison bitch!"

"I'd rather be his prison bitch than your master," the weaker man said, a smile spreading over his face. He turned to leave again but Phoenix wouldn't let him.

"I said—"

"WHOOOOOOO!"

Miles' sudden outburst stunned Phoenix so much he fell backwards. Miles lowered his arms and ran off to find Adrian. He eventually found her trying to get more passengers out of their rooms.

"Miss Andrews! Please, tell me where the Master-at-arms took a young man with fluffy spiked hair!"

"What? Well, take the elevator to the lowest level, then go down corridor B, follow it to corridor A, then there's another hallway called hallway B, and then you'll be led to door A, then go up the flight of stairs, go straight, and down another flight of stairs, there should be an employee entrance B, then cross the room to hallway A, take an immediate left and then the next immediate right and you should be in front of a room called star."

"Right, so it's B, A, B, A, up, down, B, A, left, right, B, A, start?"

"No, no, Star. It'll all be clear once you get to the bottom floor, okay?"

He thanked the small woman and ran off to the elevator, where the man in charge refused to let anyone use it.

"If you don't let me on, I swear I will rip off your balls, roast them in front of you and feed it to the dogs!" he screamed in the man's face. The man saw no further reason to not do as the scary man asked. As they reached the bottom level water started flooding into the elevator. Miles didn't care, he had to find his best friend.

"Well, go ahead, I don't need you, or your balls. Gawd, men suck. No wonder I'd rather be a woman."


	6. Chapter 6

Larry finally regained control of his body when he noticed water coming in through the door.

"Okay, first I have to steal a coat to talk to my best friend, then my best friend says he doesn't wanna be my best friend, then we become best friends who can't do the 'I'm flying!' thing, then we get chased by a freak with a taser, then I can't even do anything fun with my best friend in a car, then a torpedo hits us, I get arrested for supposedly stealing a coat and a necklace that was planted on me, then I get locked in this hellhole with a freak with a taser, then he tases me, and now I'm gonna die. What a wonderful day I'm having!" he cried to himself as he stood on a desk to keep from getting his feet wet.

…

_Okay, I've gone through corridor B, then A, then B, then A, followed the stairs, now where's the left?_

Miles was knee-high in water trying to figure out the directions that Adrian had given him. He had gone up and down the hallway trying to figure it out when finally he decides to just give a shout.

"Larry!"

Larry picked his drooping head up when he heard the voice. "MILES!"

Miles snapped his head in the direction of his own name. "LARRY!"

"I'M IN HERE! WHOOOOOO!"

Miles ran down the hall and took a left, then an immediate right and found a room labeled room B and entered it, followed by hallway A, and finally the room labeled 'Star.'

He found Larry handcuffed to the pipe while standing on a desk. He licked his lips greedily at the sight. Larry felt himself turn red.

"Um, Miles? Now's not the time for _that_ kind of thing, okay?"

"Oh, right. Was there a key of some sort?"

"Manfred took it. And he framed me for stealing that necklace!"

"I know! Okay, how do we get you out of this then?"

Larry was too panicked to think about anything at the moment, but Miles had an idea.

"It's easier to make a hole than it is to make a pole."

"Miles, now's not the time to educate me about your sex change!"

"No, really, just watch!"

He got on the pipe and started dancing with it, twirling on it and swinging his legs around it, striking all sorts of sexy poses as he did so. He flipped upside-down on it and finally the pipe gave way, allowing Larry to come free.

"Okay, what was that?"

"Pole dancing. Poles like it when girls dance on them, but if it's a guy, they just would rather die."

"But I'm still handcuffed."

Miles looked around the room when something silver glinted on the ground. He picked it up.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he said as he held up the shiny object.

"The key was on floor… NEXT TO ME?!"

"Oh well, at least you got a nice show out of it."

"Yeah, I got to see your ability to break poles in half by straddling it. What a great talent."

Larry's wrists were finally free from their metallic prison.

Miles gained 357 experience points. Larry gains 4 experience points. Miles learned a new skill: Pole Dancing. Larry gains nothing.

"How you were born a man… I'll never know."

"Why I was born a man… well, this might be just the reason I'm looking for."

"I'm glad we're best friends."

"We can become more than just best friends, if you like."

Larry smiled. "Sure! But first, the water's getting kinda high."

By this time the water was waist level in the room, and the two barely made their way up to where the other third class passengers were.

…

"He's not on the starboard side either, sir."

Manfred had spent the past few minutes searching for Miles and returned to the suite where Phoenix was gathering up some extra cash and the Magatama from the safe. Phoenix wasn't happy with the results.

"We're running out of time! Are there any lifeboats still available?"

"There should be some near the front."

Phoenix stuck a wad of bills in his pocket.

"I know how to get around."

"Me, too." Manfred responded with a flash of a shiny gun under his coat. The two men laughed heartily on their way back to the top of the ship where they found Chief Officer Franziska.

"I believe we have a business deal, Officer," he said as he shoved the wad of bills into Franziska's uniform pocket. She stared at the money, then at Phoenix as he walked away with his guard.

"I've paid my whore," he said to Manfred as he went off to find Miles.

…

Larry and Miles were stuck behind a series of gates in the steerage section of the ship, crowding around the gates with all the other third class members. They met up with Will and Gumshoe and together the three men charged the gates using Larry's head as a ram.

"Ow… maybe we could've used that brat with the samurai sword instead? It would've hurt less," Larry said as he rubbed the sore spot on his head. The four men passed by Third Officer Jean Armstrong, the man that had arrested Larry only minutes before. He was running in and out of rooms grabbing people out of them and running back to the top deck, throwing them off the ship.

"Let me go!" an elderly man with a bright red nose screamed as he was carried off.

"Oh, no, monsieur, I cannot do zat! You must leave ze ship immediately!" Jean said as he tossed the helpless old man over the railing and into the water. The four said nothing and ran off to find more life boats.

…

"Anyone else on the lifeboat?!" Franziska yelled as loud as she could. Phoenix was standing nearby when Manfred popped in front of him.

"He's on the other side… with him."

Phoenix was about to blow his top.

"Anyone else?" Franziska asked the question directly at Phoenix, who only stared back at her. "Prepare to lower, then!"

"Dammit… I have to get him back," Phoenix muttered as he crossed the ship. As Franziska was about to lower the lifeboat, a cowardly Gant quickly hopped in and took a seat without saying anything. Franziska chose not to say anything and allowed the boat to lower.

…

"Get on the boat, Miles."

"No Larry, not without you."

Larry and Miles finally found a boat for Miles to escape on, but Miles refused to go.

"But I—"

"Get on the boat, Miles," Phoenix said as he appeared before the frightened man. "Look at you, you'll catch your death out here," he said as he placed his outer coat onto Miles' shivering shoulders. Miles turned back to Larry.

"Larry, you're my best friend! I can't—"

"I made a deal with one of the officers. Larry and I both have a boat to catch," Phoenix interjected. Larry turned to Miles.

"See? I'll be okay, now get on."

Just as Miles was about to protest, he was grabbed by an officer from behind and placed in the boat.

"Come on, miss, get in the boat," Second Officer Mike Meekins said as he stuffed Miles onto the boat. Miles watched on as the boat was carefully lowered into the water. He looked up at Larry, who became farther and farther away with each second.

"There is no deal, is there?" Larry asked the rich man.

"Oh, there is. I've paid my whore, Larry, something you can never do."

The man in the cravat looked around him, seeing tearful faces wherever he looked. He saw Mike Meekins shouting orders to the crew above to lower the boat. And then he looked up at Larry, whose goofy smile filled him with pain. Would he ever see that smile again?

Miles continued to watch Larry as a flare was launched into the sky, filling the background with bright sparklers around the man of his dreams.

_I won't get the sexy party I've always dreamed about if you're not there…_

He made up his mind and jumped off the boat back onto the dying ship.

"MILES!" Larry screamed and headed to the lower deck. The two met at one of the top levels of the grand staircase and had the biggest make-out session ever allowed on paper.

"You're such an asshole, you know that?" Larry said to him between kisses. "I'm trying to save your life, and you freakin' reject it?"

"I couldn't do it! I couldn't leave my best friend!" Miles said as tears rolled down his cheeks. At the top of the staircase Phoenix watched as his whore went off with the other man. Manfred tried to pull him away, but at the last second Phoenix grabbed his shiny gun and took aim. Miles saw the glimmer of silver and realized what it was.

"Larry, run!" he cried as he whisked his friend off away from the danger before them. Phoenix took a shot but missed, causing a chaotic scene at the grand staircase. The two men ran into a flooded dining room while Phoenix jumped off the top of the stairs onto the lower level and took another shot. Another miss. He fired more shots, each of them missing and continued to chase after them until he was waist deep in water. Finally the gun ran out of bullets, and he gave a loud scream that rang out through the ship.

"I hope you have fun sexing each other up!" he screamed his final sentence at them as he turned to leave. Manfred was waiting for him by the entrance of the dining room, waiting for his master to calm down when Phoenix broke out in laughter.

"I don't think sexing people up is very funny," Manfred said, but Phoenix waved him away. "I put the Magatama in the coat… and he's wearing the coat. I've lost everything in one go!"


	7. Chapter 7

The two raced up the upward slope of the ship's other dining area and hid in a third class hallway. As they watched the water level rise around them they found a little boy in a green cap with a samurai sword, screaming for his dad.

"We can't leave him," Miles said. They grabbed the boy and as they were about to leave, Jean Armstrong ran into them.

"Oh, zis little boy, come, I will show you ze way!" he said as he tore the boy from Larry's arms and ran to the top deck and threw him overboard.

"Next time, take us with you!" Larry yelled as a couple of doors burst open with water flooding in. They were swept away in the current and slammed into a shut gate but managed to climb up some nearby stairs that led to… another gate.

"Quick! Do that pole dance thing again!" Larry told Miles.

"It doesn't work that way! It's not a pole!"

"Then try spanking it! That always loosens me up!"

Just then a busboy ran by. The two called him over and begged him to unlock the gate. He fumbled with the keys as the water level rose higher and higher, and eventually his shaking hands dropped them in the water.

"Sorry!" he called behind him as he retreated to a drier place. Just then the water reached high enough on the wall to take out the lights in the hallway, forcing them to search for the keys in the dark.

"Get it, Miles! Use your bendy self to get those keys!"

Miles took a breath and reached beyond the gate, sweeping his hand across to find the keys. He found them and tried to unlock the gate, but there were just too many.

"This one! Try this one!"

"Why?"

"Because we're about to die!"

Miles shoved his arm back around the gate and blindly forced the key into the lock. As luck would have it, they had chosen the correct key. They ripped the gate open and ran for dry hills.

…

Phoenix was back on the top deck running around trying to find Franziska. A small girl was hiding in a corner crying hysterically.

"Mystic Maya! Waaaaah!"

He looked at her with pity but continued on and eventually found Franziska cracking her whip at people trying to get on the lifeboat she was guarding.

"We had a deal!" he yelled in her face. She took the money out of her pocket and threw it back at him.

"I am not a whore to pay!" she screamed back and gave him a good whipping. He retreated back to where he saw the little girl and scooped her up in his arms, making his way to the front of the bewildered group.

"I have a child! Let me pass!" He pulled a sad, puppy face at First Officer Wendy Oldbag. "Please, let her have a chance to blossom into a beautiful young woman."

"Kids these days! Alright, go ahead."

He ran past her still holding the little girl and got in a lifeboat. He cradled the young girl in his arms when she suddenly latched onto the girl next to Phoenix.

"Mystic Maya!"

"Pearly! You're alive! How can I call Gourdy if you're not around?!"

"I'm sorry! But this nice man saved me!"

"Wow, thanks, mister! I'm Maya!" she said as she stuck her hand out for him to shake.

"Um, I'm Phoenix Wright."

"Hey, I'll call you 'Nick' to make things shorter. Thanks for saving my cousin, Pearl! Let's be friends!"

…

After escaping their near-death experience with the hazard that is the gate, they charged up the slanting smoking room where they found Adrian standing in front of the fireplace looking at the clock on top of it.

"Miss Andrews!" Miles stopped next to her, Larry obediently doing the same. Adrian slowly turned to them. "Miss Andrews, aren't you going to try to survive this?"

"Miles… EVERYTHING I TOUCH ENDS IN FAILURE!" she cried as she flung herself onto the stunned man. "I can't go on like this… first I lose Celeste, and then this happens… AM I USELESS?!"

Larry was about to say the most asshole thing ever to come to mind when Jean Armstrong burst on the scene.

"No need to worry, zis little French girl will save you!" he said as he picked Adrian up, took her outside, and dumped her overboard.

"Why is it that it's always someone else that he takes outside when we're around?" Larry asked once Adrian and Jean disappeared.

"I don't know, but we have to get to the stern right now!"

They made a beeline for the stern, making sure to not get separated no matter what. The ship was nearly vertical when they reached the stern, holding onto the railing for dear life.

"Larry?"

Larry looked at his finely-dressed companion.

"This is where you supposedly tried to rape me," Miles said with a smile. Larry kissed his friend's forehead and held onto him tightly as the ship began to snap in two.

The sound was deafening. Random parts of the ship were flying out the sides of the ship where it broke from the stress and people were falling into the water more and more constantly. Larry and Miles crawled over the edge of the stern and watched as more people continued to fall, some hitting other people, others hitting parts of the ship, and others lucky enough to only hit water. The stern slammed back into the water as the tear grew larger, and water filled in where the separation started. Then, as suddenly as the break, the stern rose again to a completely vertical position.

"Larry, the ship's going to suck us down with it! We have to make sure we reach the surface!"

"How do you know all this?"

"I'm an upper-class rich boy who was well educated and wants to be a woman. What more is there to say?"

The last parts of the stern sank, sucking many people down with it. Larry wasn't able to hold onto Miles as well as he thought, and Miles was left to fend for himself.

"Larry!" he cried as he found himself surrounded by people screaming and flailing about. He looked around but couldn't find his one true best friend.

…

"Wow, that was quite a show! Look at what ants they are!" Dahlia laughed as she watched the passengers struggling in the water with her periscope. Shelly de Killer, the only one of her crew that wasn't a complete idiot, spotted something on the sonar.

"Madam, if I may?"

"Go ahead, de Killer."

"There are some blips on the screen, and I assure you, they are not the two halves of the Gantanic. And they are getting closer."

"WHAT?!" She looked at the screen, and sure enough, several blips were reading on the screen.

…

"Miles! Over here!"

Larry's shout caught Miles by surprise, but all the same he was glad his friend was alive. He was led to a large wooden door where Larry made him lay.

"Get on, too! We can cuddle for warmth!"

"Sorry, but until you get your girlie parts, that's not gonna happen."

Miles pouted, but didn't argue. Somewhere beyond the screams of the people in the water, a voice was heard floating from the lifeboats.

"OOOOH! OOOOH!" Maya cried as she flapped her arms, her voice going into an upward pitch at the end. Phoenix was getting irritated.

"Will you please stop that childish banter?!"

"But I'm calling for help! Mia, Mistress of the Sea, will come with Gourdy!"

"THERE IS NO GOURDY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

As soon as he said that, a large sea creature resembling a giant, long-necked dinosaur, emerged from the depths of the ocean. Several others joined it, and on one of them a woman wearing seashells on her special spots stood on its head. Say that ten times fast—seashells on her special spots, seashells on her special spots, seashells…

"Hey! It's Mia, Mistress of the Sea!" Maya called out in surprise. Mia turned to look at the one who called her name and smiled at her.

"My friends, go rescue the poor souls drowning over there!" she called to them and they lurched forward to gather up anyone who wasn't in a boat. The one she stood on remained stationary.

"Are you the one who called to me daily?" she asked Maya. Maya nodded happily.

"Thank you for keeping faith in me. Thanks to your efforts and the efforts of many others, not a single life was lost on this ship. But, unfortunately, at least one life has to be taken. Gourdy, you know what I mean."

The sea monster let out a mighty "OOOOH!" of its own and dove underwater. The sounds of teeth clamping around metal were heard beneath them, and the monster resurfaced with a submarine in its mouth. Mia climbed over to the door of the submarine.

"Dahlia, you can come out now. Your little game is over."

The door opened and Dahlia and her crew spilled out into the ocean.

"Good. Now, Gourdy, call for your friends."

"OOOOH! OOOOH!"

The rest of the sea creatures regrouped to their leader and stared hungrily at the Nazi party.

"Everyone, this is what happens if you try to cross swords with the Mistress of the Sea."

Gourdy dipped his head in the water and bit down on Dahlia, making sure to chew her up before swallowing her. Gasps and sounds of vomiting hitting the water can be heard all around.

"Hmm, that's one sexy kitten there," Godot said to himself with a smile as he settled on Gourdy's back. Mia turned to face the man who spoke.

"If you do not wish to join Dahlia, I suggest you stay quiet."

"Ooh, feisty. Alright, I'll do as you like."

They remained floating for another hour or so until the Skye Scraper arrived to pick them up. Of course, the Gourdy clones made sure to eat the rest of the Nazis and dump the passengers back in the sea before anyone on the ship could see them. That was the last of the Mistress of the Sea anyone ever saw.

…

"So, what happened with you and Larry? Did you stay best friends?" Apollo asked.

"Unfortunately, no. I got my girlie parts and after awhile he broke up with me for some cheap model floozy. Afterward he constantly got rejected by every girl he ever went with. He should've stuck with me. I would've treated him right."

"What about Phoenix? Where'd he end up?" Ema asked.

"I think he joined Hitler and became a Nazi. And I know you want to know about Miss Andrews, right? She and Franziska got real close to one another, and she never again wondered if she was useless. Mr. Godot spent the rest of his life searching for Mia, but he never found her. He died a very lonely death. Gumshoe and Maggey lived full and happy lives. Will went on to become a children's super hero, and Jean owned his own French restaurant for awhile. As for Maya and Pearl, those two became famous for being the ones to rescue everyone from a horrible death. They lived a wealthy life from then on."

"Well, that was the worst story I've ever heard. I mean, come one, sea monsters led by a naked woman, an officer who runs around the ship dumping passengers into the sea, Nazis chasing after said sea monsters, and people stupid enough to make the same mistakes as the people from the Titanic incident?! And how stupid are people to admit a man onto a life boat as a woman?" Apollo sighed as he sat back down.

"I assure you, it's not all stupid," Mila said calmly.

…

That night was the last night of the search for the Magatama. While everyone was partying Mila went over to a quiet part of the boat and peered into the water.

"Ooooh! Oooooh!" she cried. The Mistress of the Sea, Mia, poked her head out of the water. She hadn't aged since the last time Mila saw her.

"I believe this belongs to you and your family," Mila said as she held out the Magatama to her. Mia took it and looked at it lovingly.

"Thank you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes, there is. I want to confirm something. Could you please remove your seashells for me?"

Mia was disgusted at the old woman's requestion but did so anyway. Mila stared at the voluptuous chest for a few moments, then nodded.

"Thank you."

"May I ask what that was about?"

Mila smiled, a hint of bitterness in her tone. "Hmm, either I've gone lesbian or I'm straight after all."

The End

Author's note: thank you for reading this crack fanfic. I wrote it because I needed to let off some stress and I thought I'd test out my crack side of my brain. I want to thank my friend who provided the "my wand is bigger than yours" and the "it's easier to make a hole than it is to make a pole" quotes. Thank you Moulin Rouge and my cousin for the "I've paid my whore" quote. If you didn't like it, feel free to flame me, 'cause I know I offended many Edgeworth fans. And hey, I like Edgeworth too, which is why I picked on him. Oh, and thanks to my brother who suggested that Edgeworth be our Rose. Things worked out so much better than if I stuck with Adrian as Rose.

Thank you once again for reading and reviewing my fanfic. Your reviews inspire me to continue to write crack and whatever else you might want to see. Please send me in your requests for pairings, movie parodies, and whatever else you might want. Thank you all again.


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